L's nightmare
by Kage kioku aji tenshi
Summary: what made L the way he is? What if the reason was a girl, what if she was L’s friend before Raito?


Author: Kage kioku aji tenshi A Author: Kage kioku aji tenshi A.K.A. Kage-san

_Summary: _what made L the way he is? What if the reason was a girl, what if she was L's friend before Raito?

* * *

Koi Ame lay next to an anthill, she didn't know why but ants, and the rain fascinated her she also loved candy.

"Hey, you, go away, you're not wanted here!" A rude bully of a boy shouted at Koi. But Koi paid him no mind; in fact Koi paid no mind to anything apart from the ants in front of her, so it was no surprise that Koi twitched when a boy sat next to her.

"Hullo," he said quietly, "my name is L."

"Pleasure," Koi said, holding out her hand "Koi Ame, nothing more, nothing less."

L smiled, and shook her hand. "Nice to meet you, what are you doing?"

"Watching the ants." Koi said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh..." was all that L said.

An hour later Koi stood and left leaving her new friend to watch the ants until nightfall.

* * *

Koi wasn't seen for a week and during that time L worried for his new friend. On the day Koi returned to Wammy's it was raining and windy. But Koi just stood near a flooded anthill, hands in her pockets, face turned upwards, looking at the sky, short soaking wet black hair blowing in the wind.

"Koi, what are you doing out here in the rain?" L asked standing nearby under an umbrella. Koi turned her head so it seemed she was looking him, but her eyes were blank.

"I'm listening for the bells, they should be ringing soon" she turned her head so she was looking at the sky again.

"Koi?"

"The bells ring after one dies, some days bells overlap each other, one day bells will ring for me and you." Koi explained to the boy.

"Koi, you should go home and sleep" L suggested

Without replying Koi left not even bothering to look back.

* * *

"So, Koi, what's you're favorite color?" L asked, over the past few days the two children had gotten close.

" Black, the color of non-existent things, you?"

"Red, the color of my mother's hair, favorite animal?"

"Wolf, pack creatures and fox, they mate for life, you?"

"Dove, sign of new beginnings, favorite person?" he asked waiting for her to name a family member, instead she said:

"You, What's your deepest, darkest secret?"

"My name, you?"

"My past, present, and future." Koi said simply

"Koi?"

"Hmm…?"

"Why don't you like to go home?"

"Because I like you better." Koi smiled.

* * *

For years the two were friends, then L turned eighteen and planned to leave. Koi had given him an address for him to write to. She also said she'd meet him to say good-bye, but she had yet to show. So L went to the place where he would have written.

When L opened the door he saw Koi curled in a small ball a sucker in her mouth as though she weren't covered in various wounds, of different severity.

"Koi!!" L shouted as he fell to his knees next to her pulling her to his chest, blind to the blood staining his clothes. "Koi, wake up, please, Koi, wake up," L begged, tears running down his cheeks.

"L..." Koi said weakly "I didn't think I'd get to say good-bye."

"No!" L said, harshly, making Koi flinch slightly "Not good-bye, Koi, never good-bye." he continued softer. For several moments there was silence.

"Koi?"

"Hmmm…?"

"Can you hear the bells?" Even though Watari had found them, it was too late for Koi. And L almost screamed in frustration.

"No..." Koi said softly. "Will you listen to the bells after I'm gone?"

"Yeah, I will Koi, for you, for you." He sobbed.

L held Koi close as her breathing stopped, on the floor a forgotten sucker lay surrounded by ants. L thought he even heard sirens over the bells and pitter-patter of rain against a window.

* * *

Years later L woke in a cold sweat, hand-cuffed to his number one Kira suspect, Raito Yagami. L shivered and woke Raito. Ignoring the groggy 'What' from Raito, L walked to the kitchen for a sucker. Then L sat on the couch in his usual position, only his arms were wrapped around his legs, his head resting on them with silent tears falling down his cheeks.

"L? What's wrong?" Raito asked he didn't like it when his nemisis showed a weakness that he didn't know about.

"I had a dream, a nightmare." L had always pushed away the emotions attatched to Koi's death, not even Watari knew how it affected him.

"What about?" Raito asked, frowning.

"When my friend died in my arms," L buried his face into his knees,"I couldn't do anything for her, I_ let _her die." he sobbed.

"No... L," Raito said sitting next to him and pulling him into a hug. "If you could have helped you would have, there was nothing you could do," Though Raito didn't have the whole story, he felt bad that L had no doubt that L had been **_Very _**close to the victim of his first case. '"It'll be okay," Raito rocked them both back and forth on the couch, "It'll be okay."

* * *

_This is just a one-shot that Kage-san thought up/giggle/ a somewhat pointless fluff but Kage-sane enjoyed writting it, Koi-san was Kage-san's bestest friend/waaaaaaaa!!/ But Kage-san likes helping Ryuuzaki-kun and Raito-kun. Kage-san's got to go Bi-Bi/ waves and runs of down the stairs, out the door and into the rain/_


End file.
